I Still Love You: Nine Things Troubled Kids Need from Their Parents

In this review of I Still Love You, family therapist Michael Ungar offers a grounded, experience-driven guide for parents of difficult children. The book is aimed at caregivers who need practical, emotionally intelligent strategies rather than quick fixes; its single biggest reason to buy is Ungar's combination of clinical insight and personal honesty, which makes the nine core needs he describes feel both evidence-based and immediately usable. Readers will find a compassionate voice that normalizes struggle and outlines concrete ways to help troubled kids rebuild connection and resilience.

Key Features

• Case-based guidance: Ungar uses the struggles of three families to illustrate how the nine needs can be applied in real, complicated situations so parents can see examples that mirror their own challenges.
• Therapist perspective: As an experienced family therapist, Ungar offers professional insight into behavior patterns and recovery paths that help parents understand the why behind difficult actions.
• Author's personal history: Ungar shares his own background as a troubled teen, which adds credibility and empathy, helping parents relate to the lived experience behind his recommendations.
• Clear list of nine needs: The book organizes its guidance into nine discrete areas such as structure, consequences, and belonging, making it easier to prioritize actions at home.
• Actionable focus: Emphasis on building connections, identity, and a sense of control gives parents concrete domains to work on rather than vague advice.

Who It's For

This book is best for parents, guardians, and caregivers of adolescents or children showing persistent behavioral, emotional, or social difficulties who want compassionate, practitioner-informed strategies. It suits readers who prefer real family stories and a therapist's viewpoint over purely theoretical texts.

Those looking for step-by-step behavioral programs, one-size-fits-all parenting rules, or exhaustive academic citations may want to supplement this book with a targeted parenting manual or clinical workbook. It is not a substitute for individualized clinical treatment when a child needs intensive professional care.

Pros & Cons

Pros

• Practical, story-driven examples make the nine needs tangible and relatable for parents.
• Ungar's background as a therapist and as someone who experienced trauma himself adds authenticity and empathy to the guidance.
• The nine clear domains (structure, consequences, connections, identity, control, belonging, spirituality, and relationships) provide a manageable framework to guide change.

Cons

• The book is framed around three family cases, so readers seeking exhaustive evidence or stepwise protocols may find it less prescriptive than they prefer.

Specifications

Title	I Still Love You: Nine Things Troubled Kids Need from Their Parents
Author	Michael Ungar
Approach	Family therapy case studies and practitioner guidance
Main themes	Structure, consequences, connections, identity, control, belonging, relationships
Target audience	Parents and caregivers of troubled children
Perspective	Therapist memoir elements plus clinical recommendations

Our Verdict

I Still Love You is a compassionate, practitioner-informed resource that helps parents prioritize the emotional and structural needs of troubled children. It is good value for caregivers who want realistic examples and a clear framework to rebuild connection and resilience, though readers seeking prescriptive programs should pair it with practical workbooks or clinical support.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the book include real family examples?
Yes. Ungar uses three families he meets in practice to show how the nine needs are applied in real situations.

Is this a clinical manual or memoir?
It blends both: clinical guidance from a family therapist alongside personal reflections from Ungar's own history.

Will it replace therapy for serious issues?
No. It offers helpful strategies and perspective but is not a substitute for individualized clinical treatment when intensive care is required.